***The journey took me several hours, but I finally arrived at the oldtower, all that was left of an ancient royal palace. I went up to thedoor and was able to bash through the rotten wooden planks with my fists.Once I had broken down the door, I went into the tower and found that itwas populated by goblins. The goblin on the stairs shouted:"Yeh! Ohw eht lleh era uoy, uoy retsnom!"Great - a nil bog. A nil bog was a mutant goblin who did everything inreverse - normal goblins considered them to be sacred."M'I Rodeof Arrah-bis!" I replied. "Eht Ielerol dlot em ym tnitsed seilni siht rewot, os ev'I emoc ereh ot ees fi s'ti eurt!"The nil bog threw back his head, laughing at the very idea of my destinybeing here, and cried:"Ton ylno illiw uoy ton teg ot eht rewot moor, uoy lliw eid erehw uoyera gnidnats!"I walked to the bottom step of the bog tower stairs, even as the goblinsrushed toward me. The nil bog ran backwards away from me as I climbed. I'm going shopping this afternoon andI'm going to buy you your own underwear. I want you to stop borrowingmine, especially without asking. That's so impolite and I think a littledisgusting, wouldn't you agree, James?" I'm sorry, Mother, but I don't understand this line of questions. Whatis it that you are implying?" Follow me, Son! Ha, Son, that is so funny. I'm sorry, James, I don'tmean any disrespect."I followed her toward her room, and dumped on her bed was a basketful ofrecently washed laundry. Mother had separated her panties from the otherclothing and pointed toward the pile."This is one week's worth of lingerie that I washed today, James. Let'scount the panties, shall we?"Mother did not appear to be embarrassed counting her panties in front ofme. As a matter of fact, she seemed to enjoy making a big production outof it. "Let's see," she said. "I wore this panty on Monday." She set theyellow cotton brief over to the side. "I wore this pretty panty onTuesday, I remember because.
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